The Art of Letting Go



Hello everyone! I hope things are going well for you all.

Today I'm going to be discussing something that's a bit different from my usual material and touches on the personal side. I've wanted to talk about this for a while now and I think I'm finally ready to do it.

There comes a time in our lives whether it's a friend, partner, job, etc. when there's an instinct you get for when you think it's time for you to move on.

I am going through this currently and the art of letting go is very challenging and it can be hard to avoid conflict, but I've been learning a lot and I hope I can share with you my tips on how to let go and move on to better things.

1. Make it Gradual

You never want to be abrupt and straightforward when moving on in your life. This will not only add conflict but it will also add stress and negativity, and we don't need any of that! You need to let human nature do its thing and take its course. I always had a mindset that I should just drop everything and everyone that wasn't adding any positivity to my life--and you should--just under the right terms. If it's a school friend for example, maybe begin to just discuss school related topics and not personal things. If you hang out with them outside of class give excuses but do not be rude or passive aggressive. It's obvious that you should avoid making enemies as much as possible, but some people just don't take things well/maturely and nothing can change that, unfortunately.

2. Avoid the Good Times

I'm not saying that you should make your time with your friend/job absolutely s****y, but when we look back on memories, psychologically we immediately dwell on all of the good times and this leads to guilt on your side. I have done this many times, had the person come back into my life, and immediately regret it afterwards. The mind is able to manipulate all of your thoughts into making you think you're overreacting, which you NEVER are. It's important to remember that no matter how small the problem is, if someone or something is not benefitting you or is making you feel bad in any way, you do not need them in your life.

3. Get to Know Yourself

This is a crucial step in the process because sometimes you forget to take care of yourself and just have some "me" time. As someone who really enjoys being by themselves, I try to do this at least once a week! If you watch Parks and Rec, it's basically a solo version of Treat Yo Self. This also depends on each person! I personally like to stay home, have Netflix or a movie on, have a bath with candles, and just lay in bed. Some other people prefer going out to eat by themselves and having a nice meal (there is NO pity in that, I do it all the time). Finding a hobby may be beneficial as well, like taking up a new instrument or language! I'm trying to learn Japanese because my grandparents can't speak English very well so I can communicate with them better. Just do things that make you happy, this entire post is literally about finding happiness by erasing negativity.

4. Cut Down on Social Media

So this is probably the hardest step, like ever. I mean you're probably thinking, "How can I not go on social media? I check it all day, what will I do with my life?" and believe me, I thought the same thing. I have currently deleted all social media apps on my phone excluding Tumblr and Instagram but I go on them solely for blogging purposes, not personal. This is important to do because the last thing you want to see is your friend doing stuff with other people and they look all annoyingly happy. I have been in that position, and it effing sucks. Hard. So I decided to delete all of my apps so the urge to check isn't there anymore. It honestly feels like a cleanse and I am so much happier now.

5. Go Outside

When I had certain people (not naming names) in my life, I was in a dark place. All I did was stay home and complain that these people are all having a good time and they did not invite me, which made me feel even worse. Feeling excluded is one of the worst things in the world, but staying at home feeling sorry for yourself, although seems right to do at that moment, is NOT okay. Whenever I saw my friends doing stuff together, I would try to do something productive to counteract it. I would do things like go to the gym, homework, cleaning, etc. That keeps you moving and by moving you won't feel as upset, or even depressed. Go outside and be with people who care for you and maybe spend more time with family! Take in the nature you see around you, walk until you can't walk anymore, or listen to every song on your iPod without skipping!

6. Game Change

Okay so this isn't a real step but I'm sure you guys have heard of Essena O'Neill. She was considered an "Instagram model" and recently deleted her social media because she realized how out of touch with reality she was. Feeling the same way, I decided to check out her new website she launched and you can check it out at www.letsbegamechangers.com and basically its a campaign for people to start REALLY LIVING! There's so much good stuff on there and I am so inspired and ready to follow in her footsteps. I hope some of you can do the same.

Ok so lots of information being thrown at you at once is kind of overwhelming but I honestly hope this post helps even one of you out there struggling just like me. If you ever feel alone, please feel free to email me or message me on my Tumblr because I want your voices to be heard. Never let someone's presence add darkness to your life and NEVER let someone claim they "care about you" but leave you once conflict rises.

Remember that actions always speak louder than words and if they aren't willing to go through thick and thin with you, they aren't worth your time.

I love you all so much,

Rachel xx

Message me on Tumblr here.

2 comments:

  1. Incredibly honest and amazingly real! I wish I had read this post 2 years ago when I was having the worst time of my life, but I'm happy I read because now I know what to so in those situations.

    LIVING IN PLAID - Personal Style Blog from Brussels

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Sofia! I'm sorry that you have gone through a similar situation, they can be terrible. Please feel free to email me if you ever feel that way again I'd be happy to help! xx Rachel

      Delete

Follow @ Instagram

Back to Top